People are weird.
People are weird.

I wonder sometimes if we’re all secretly afraid there is something fundamentally wrong with us and are looking for proof that we’re really okay. It may be one of the reasons we love it when someone else is vulnerable and shares their own fears with us. That we are inferior in some way by comparison to others. Or that we desperately want to be seen, but then worry about it at the same time. We fret that others don’t really like us. That someone else seems normal and we feel anxious or flawed or powerless. Or powerful.. and then worry about the responsibility that goes along with our power to influence or even manipulate things and people.

We all have secret fears.

Having coached for close to 10,000 hours now, I have seen the wide variety of unspoken fears we will confess in whispers behind closed doors. I’ve yet to meet a person that won’t admit they think they are weird in certain ways. Few of us will admit this in a boardroom. But in a trusted relationship we get more real. Being human has it strange, unexplainable behaviors because so much of what we do comes from unconscious drivers that can confound us after some time passes and we gain some perspective.

Conflicting impulses.

One of the weirdest differences between us is that we all have a different pecking order about which form of human intelligence we operate from first, second, third and so on. Some prioritize decisions from heart. Some operate from gut instinct. Some prioritize purely rational thought. And some come from faith in the creative divine they intuit in their spirit. What’s even more complicated is that we all have all four inside us and they can even create conflict inside ourselves. Our heart wants one thing, yet our rational brain thinks otherwise. Or our gut instinct is tells us to get into action, but our creative intuition believes there could be a better way if we just wait for the right time. No wonder we are all confused by one another, right?

Weird loves weird.

But the good news is that when resonance happens, we find someone who loves the very unique qualities that we consider weird about ourselves. And vice versa. The incredible number of variables on both sides of any social relationship may be why it takes so long to find the right people to invite into our inner circles. We have to find the right people that like the precise ways we are weird. But the magic of it is that IT HAPPENS. So it’s the match that matters most. Then we love the weird order of things in one another. The right pecking order of intelligences in the right order and all the sudden we have simpatica. Voila! Blissful resonance. It happens in romance, in friendship and in business. That may be why the supervisor/employee relationship is so important to fulfillment in our profession. And why some teams thrive and others polarize in conflict.

Stop striving to get perfect.

The lesson? Getting to perfect isn’t the answer. It’s taking responsibility to make the best of how you’re wired..and how you’re weird! And then noticing the resonance or dissonance of who you’re with. Fit is SO important. You’re weird. They’re weird. Yet it’s beautiful and works.